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November 16, 2006

The Usual

I have been working with my aunt lately, running an espresso bar for various catered events like weddings, office parties, bar mitzvahs, etc. I love the job because I get to create and serve drinks to people who can't function without caffeine. They love it, so I love it. Also, each event is at a new location. So every job feels new and different, and we always see new people and places.

Since I have been working with her, I have thought more about what it was/is like to work a "regular" job. And by regular I mean in the same building, with the same people, at the same time, doing the same thing. Discovering how much I love the irregularity of the espresso bar, I fear that I may never be able to handle the regularity of so many other jobs. I love working with coffee, but would working at Starbucks get "old" after about a week of working in the same store? I am truly scared of having a job. I am scared of falling into The Usual.

But then how does this even work? I am the one always saying that I am so sentimental, that I love familiarness, that I hate change. So where does this feeling come from? How do I explain on my resume that of my strengths and weaknesses, I love routine but feel bored without change?

Then I wonder if maybe this attitude I have wont somehow show up in my relationships. I feel like I enjoy relational routines. Spending time with familiar people doing the same things. But what if I flip out and decide that I can't stand it and need something new?

How do I face (change?) the fact that I am truly a child of my generation-- someone who gets bored after 35 seconds of one thing.

Posted by libbystokes at 10:17 PM | Comments (0)

November 15, 2006

Reason #38

For months my sister made argument after argument for why I should move to Portland. She dropped hints, she sent news, she told me her daydreams of us living and working in the same city. She even begged. I have to commend her, for she was successful. I do plan to move. One day.

The thing that is hardest for me to face when thinking about moving is not the fear of entering a new community and making new friends and finding work and housing. What scares me the most is leaving what I have already spent years investing in. I have friends and family, favorite haunts and restaurants. I have a church at which I am a member. There are valuable art resources here as well. My life is where I am now. And to think of leaving it feels like abandoning it or losing all the good in it.

Fortunately for Kate, she's got an advocate who has made at least one concern easier for me to deal with. Lynn Aldrich.

Lynn Aldrich is one of my favorite artists. I admire her ethics, her faith, her aesthetic and her materials. You can understand why I value her and her judgement. Well, yesterday an art show opened at Biola (featuring Lynn and a couple of my other favorites: Dan Callis and Tim Hawkinson) and Lynn was there to speak on the panel. When the discussion started focusing on Los Angeles, I started to feel sad at the idea of possibly leaving LA, with it being such an urban center for art. But within moments, my hope was restored when Lynn said that although LA and New York are the two top "happening" art cities, Portland is a quickly growing metropolis that offers many opportunities to young artists. That was enough for me. I have no more fears about leaving the LA art resource I have come to depend on.

So Reason #38: Why to move to Portland-- Lynn Aldrich said so.

Posted by libbystokes at 10:50 PM | Comments (1)