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March 22, 2007
Pardon?
You know when someone says something and you can't quite hear them so you say "what?" or "pardon?" You know when someone says something and you hear them loud and clear but you still ask "what?" or "pardon?" Yeah, I noticed that I do this a lot (ask "what?" even though I heard them alright) and so I started wondering why it is that I don't just respond after the first time, but need to hear it again. In the past I have experienced others do the same thing-- I have asked them something, knowing they could hear me, but they had me repeat it. So I know it's not just me, but still I was all of a sudden frustrated at this phenomenon.
I thought back to when I was a kid and I would yell out something to my parents from the other room and they would tell me that if I had a question I should come into the room they were in and ask them to their faces, within speaking distance. And though this always killed me ("I mean, they can hear me yelling at them in the first place so why don't they just yell back the answer rather than make me have to get up and go into another room?!" This was my thinking), it taught me the importance of respecting and honoring someone and their personal space when communicating with them. Even now I can't stand to see kids yelling out to their parents from far away, or even addressing a parent over and over while the parent is preoccupied.
So I started thinking about how this learned principle could be playing into the whole "Pardon Syndrome." Now in most of these situations I am either concentrating on something or just otherwise busy and I'm not already in the midst of a conversation with the person. I'm almost never facing them to begin with, or my head is turned away. So I though, could it be that the reason I need people to repeat their questions is that I wish to begin conversations with a mutual acknowledgment on both sides? It's like I'm forcing them to start over because they skipped the first step-- asking to talk to me in the first place.
Ok, now I know that sounds totally self-righteous. Like you need my permission to address me or something. But all I mean is that it's sort of common curtesy to start a conversation by first securing the other party's attention. A simple "Hey Libby?" will do. You never know, I might just say "Yeah?" instead of "Pardon?"
Of course, I guess I never really say Pardon, so scratch that...
Posted by libbystokes at March 22, 2007 07:36 PM